Adapting

Adapting is not something I'm especially good at.

See, I'm a bit of a control freak at times, and I tend towards discouragement and even despair when the wheels come off of a plan I've invested a lot of time and energy into.

I'm fighting through that this year with my gardens as we struggle through doldrums that feel like they'll never end. Business has never been this slow, and lack of disposable income has thrown a major wrench into so many of my best-laid plans. The fruit trees never got ordered, I spent the spring digging out sod rather than building raised beds, and everything has been scaled down a bit. Frustration has reigned supreme as I feel more urgency than ever before to progress down our path to self-sufficiency but have fewer means than ever to actually take the steps that come next.

Still, I know that I am blessed. Had we not started down this path when we did, not thrown everything we had into buying a home that is truly ours, we would be right there with so many Michiganders, looking down the barrel of foreclosure as the job market continues to unravel. Home is a powerful thing, and no matter how discouraged I get with the delays and corner-cutting, rounding the corner to come home never fails to make me smile. For better or worse, this is ours and no one can take it from us. The rest will come in time.